i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
