Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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