nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
