Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
