WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
