They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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