I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
