So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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