Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize