If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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