so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
