Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
