so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
