Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
