We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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