Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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