New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
