who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
