Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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