In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
