No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
