need another drink. this is the easiest way
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
