Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't turn off my feet"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
