That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
