Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
