I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
