i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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