I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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