another moral hangover. fuck.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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