she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
