I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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