We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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