all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
that is very illegal...i love you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
