the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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