i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
