So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
