what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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