Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
