i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
