We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
