...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
