we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
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I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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