What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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