It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
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If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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