Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
