I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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