guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
