And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
