I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
