It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
