youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
