I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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