Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
