Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
