I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
