Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
