I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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