I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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