Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
